I collected my first car keys at the grand (oldish) age of 45.
After passing my test at 18 I left Lochaber for Glasgow's bright lights and university life and did not drive again.
It's not a time when one should extol the benefits of car ownership but FUF (my regi plate) has a small engine and spends most of her time parked on my street. The knowledge that I can whizz out of Glasgow at any given point still leaves me giddy with delight.
However, there's just one problem.
My cheerful chilli-red Mini Cooper does not seem to share the fondness I have for the Highland area I grew up in.
It first happened about a year after I was handed the keys, my heart thumping with excitement and a fair amount of trepidation. After decades as a non-driver and a handful of refresher lessons, would I even make it home?
READ MORE: Glencoe cottage 'reclaimed' from grim past to honour celebrated mountaineer
After the last slurp of the Welly's restorative tea I started up the engine and turned right, up the wee hill to the tree-lined part of the A82 that runs parallel to the West Highland Way's path.
Pressing on the accelerator, the car refused to gain power. Foot to the floor and the dial struggled to reach 30. A baffling message flashed on FUF’s dash.'Drivetrain error. Full performance not available.’
I pulled into the nearest lay-by in a panic and called my older brother, who has a bit more experience of the mechanics of cars. "It's gone into limp mode" said he. "You should take it back to Glasgow. It's closer than Spean Bridge."
I disagreed on his geography, switched the engine back on and my second-hand Mini Cooper was back to her nippy best.
A few days later, a Glasgow mechanic scanned and checked the car and could find no fault.
Since then, this go-slow has happened at least six times but only ever in Tyndrum. I’ve driven the same distance and more to other Scottish towns and cities with no malfunctions. It’s even got Mini mechanics stumped.
Is there some witchcraft, or geomagnetic charge at play? Perhaps it’s a new tourist strategy designed to trap motorists in the fleeces and tartan souvenirs of the Green Welly shop.
READ MORE: Long-awaited plan to rebuild crumbling Highland hospital finally gets off the ground
On mentioning this in The Herald offices, a colleague said his friend had a similarly strange experience as he left the village. His motorbike was speeding up and slowing down and the pair were forced into an unplanned Bridge of Orchy stop before it regained full power.
As I write, FUF is in a south side garage perplexing a third mechanic who said he had never seen anything like it in his 15-year career and cannot identify any problems with my car.
If any other garages are up to the challenge you will find me, in a layby just past Tyndrum, waiting for my car to grudgingly decide to transport me home.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel