Mind your language
THE other day reader Linda Muir was discussing the glories of the English lingo with a pal.
“I told her my favourite word was ‘courage’,” says Linda. “I explained it’s a word that always reminds me that I should keep my head held high, no matter the difficulty confronting me, or the painful setbacks I often endure.”
Linda’s friend thought about this for a contemplative moment, then said: “My favourite word is ‘bob’.”
Road to ruin
THE Great Scottish Run rumbled through Glasgow at the weekend.
It was a fantastic success for spectators and competitors alike. With a few exceptions…
Reader Lauren Simpson’s husband was one of those taking part.
He managed to complete the race, though crossed the finishing line as a sweaty, wheezing, quivering blob of exhaustion.
“I get the ‘Scottish’ and ‘Run’ bit,” he grunted to Lauren. “Now could someone please tell me where the ‘great’ comes into it.”
Dog day afternoon
IT was 2pm in the Waterstones café on Sauchiehall Street when Rab Jones popped in for a cup of tea.
One of the other customers had brought her pet pooch into the bookstore, and the animal was barking in a highly agitated manner.
Noticing all the nearby works of literature, Rab said to the dog’s owner: “I’m guessing your mutt has just finished reading Greyfriars Bobby, now he’s a wee bit traumatised.”
Posh nosh
HOW the other half live. Diary correspondent John Young was chatting to a pal who had recently met up with a woman for a blind date, and our inquisitive reader asked how it went.
“She was very posh,” said the pal.
“What d’you mean?” enquired John.
“Put it this way,” explained the pal, “she pronounced cabbage to rhyme with massage.”
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Animal antics
A MARCH took place on Buchanan Street on Sunday, with protesting pet owners roaring, “Save our Bullies,” referring to the controversial dog breed, the XL Bully.
Reader Neil Douglas, who watched the spectacle, says: “I know this is a contentious topic, but maybe the PR team representing the dogs could devise a name change for the breed. Chanting “Save our Bullies” sounds suspiciously like the group are trying to protect those arch villains who lurked in every school playground, demanding their fellow pupils’ pocket money and play pieces.”
Marital malady
THE games people play. Reader Eric Matthews ruefully admits: “My wife found the letters I’d been hiding, proving I was cheating on her.”
Adds Eric: “Now she’s refusing to play Scrabble with me.”
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