Doug’s dig
URBANE English journalist and Old Etonian, Douglas Murray, has never seemed overly perturbed about making enemies, and has spent much of his career behaving like a maleficent midge that has somehow managed to master the intricacies of a laptop.
He has drizzled scorn on the woke, heaped ire on Islamic fundamentalists and jousted with the reputation of Joe Biden.
But has mean Mr M gone too far?
In a recent article he boasts of his politeness as a house-guest by revealing that he asks his hosts if there is anything he can bring them that they wouldn’t find in their neck of the woods.
“When visiting friends in Scotland, for example,” he adds, “I might offer to take with me some fresh fruits or vegetables. “
The insufferable cheek of the chap! Doesn’t he realise that Proud Scotia is the turnip capital of the world?
Plus an entire carrot was spotted a month ago in Glasgow.
Full disclosure: The carrot might have been a deep-fried Mars bar coated in a particularly orange-looking batter. Though it did look sort of carroty.
Quibbles with nibbles
MORE evidence that Murray is wrong, and that Scotland is an oasis of sophistication.
Reader Nicola Martin was in the Waterstones café in Sauchiehall Street when an elderly lady waddled up to the counter and requested toast.
Alas, toast was not available.
The barista suggested ciabatta.
The customer pondered for a moment, then said: “Is that the wee square hingmy wi’ the wee dimples?”
“Yes,” said the barista, gathering together all the dignity of his profession. “It is.”
“Aye, go on,” shrugged the lady. “Better than nuttin’.”
Your number’s up
MIXED messaging from reader Tom Perkins, who says: “My IQ is so high that I can’t even count that far.”
Telly visionary
WE mentioned the tragedy of having enough dosh to pay for Netflix and Amazon, though not Apple TV.
Forward thinking reader Sam Stewart predicts: “In years to come the class system will be based on the number of streaming subscriptions a household has.
Upper Class: 5+.
Middle Class: 3-4.
Working Class: Make shadow puppets on the living room wall.
Chocs away
SUMMER arrived in Scotland. At last. Reader Emma Bollen said to a chum that she hoped it would stick around for a few weeks.
Her chum snorted, then said: “Scottish summer isn’t a Twix, you know. There are no second helpings.”
Stripey switherer
“WHAT kind of bee can’t make up its mind?” asks reader Marcus Brett. The answer is, of course… “A maybee.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here