Gillian Keegan is a woman who doesn't like to stand still. Nor does she seem to like others to stand still, which is perhaps why she's so fixated on people sitting down.
When the English and Welsh education minister's finger of blame is pointed, it is towards folk on their bums.
Keegan is, famously, having a difficult week. As if the RAAC concrete debacle wasn't enough. What a flawless gift of a metaphor it is, in so-called Broken Britain, that school roofs may collapse on the heads of children at any given second and there is no clear solution to the issue, just a lot of loud squabbling.
If you tried to write it, it would be too obvious to be credible.
But as if the risk to weans of being bonked on the noggin by crumbling school buildings wasn't enough, the minister let her ire show in public.
At the end of an interview with ITV she said: "Does anyone ever say, 'Do you know what, you've done a f*****g good job because everyone else has sat on their arse and done nothing?'"
Actually, that's not quite fair. It wasn't in public. It was after an interview was completed and when she was removing her microphone.
There might have been a time when these comments were considered off the record because they were said after the official interview concluded. There are ethical questions to be asked about ITV putting the footage out on social media but what it speaks to is a feeling that this Tory Government is done.
With impartiality always in mind, it's important to build rapport and relationships with politicians, particularly cabinet ministers, for the flow of stories and the flow of comment and simply for ease of getting the job done.
It's clear there's no sense that keeping Gillian Keegan onside is of any value and so she was offered no discretion. It's also a sign of how little expectation there is that anyone in the Conservative Cabinet is going to stick around.
The education brief has been held by five different people since July last year alone.
The Tory Government is a spinning merry-go-round of one person doing multiple jobs in quick succession - Grant Schapps - or multiple people doing the one job in quick succession - from prime ministers to education ministers.
Ms Keegan's rant did leave one wondering: Whose arses are being sat upon? The previous education ministers'? The media's? Labour politicians'? Does the minister truly believe she is doing a f*****g good job?
Like the SNP MSP's Elena Whitham's leaked WhatsApp messages in July, Ms Keegan's sweary outburst made me rather like her. It's a tricky feat, political life.
You have to have personality, but not too much. Be human, but not too human.
We've all been there, feeling ourselves to have been grafting away, single-handedly rowing the dingy, surrounded by feckless incompetents. Hasn't everyone had a bad day at work and wanted a good old swear about it?
I have an idea. Why don't we all gather on our doorsteps on a Thursday evening, say around 8pm, and clap for Gillian?
Perhaps, as the government tries to rustle up the money to repair or replace the crumbling buildings, they could put some cash aside for standing desks in schools. It would keep the young people, at least, on their feet. And allow for ease of standing ovation.
Later on the day of the sweary outburst Sky News had the idea of making Ms Keegan watch herself back live on TV. The horror. At one point she laughed. It was the same inappropriate laugh that people who run out into the road in the middle of traffic let out because they know they should have gone to the pedestrian crossing but have chosen instead to dice with disaster.
And on the theme of dicing with disaster, concrete collapse aside, Keegan went on to tell Jeremy Vine on BBC Radio 2 that her outburst was prompted by frustration at head teachers.
If there's ever a set of folk not to meddle with, it's head teachers. No one has warned the education minister. Complaining that heads hadn't filled out a concrete survey - many head teachers came back almost immediately to counter this - Ms Keegan added: "Now, hopefully all this publicity will make them get off their backsides."
If only she'd sworn about them sooner, eh?
It's not Ms Keegan's first bumble. When A-level results came out in England and Wales three weeks ago, analysis showed that the top grades had fallen from the year before - even though they remained above pre-pandemic levels.
The cabinet minister - you know, the one in charge of these things - was, I would suppose, there to defend the grades and give a robust justification for the changes in the pandemic and post-pandemic exam diets, and the resulting change in grades.
She chose a different tactic. In the face of young people who are pressured, by themselves and the adults around them, to perform well in school exams; who are told that they must do well in their school exams in order to step successfully into the next part of their lives, she told them exams don't matter.
Don't be disappointed, she told thousands of English and Welsh teenagers, because in 10 years' time no one will give two hoots about your A-level grades. Eventually, she added, "they don't even ask you what you did at university".
Inspirational. You can't fault her position. It's true: after a certain period of time, no one does care about your exam grades. Once you are well enough established it makes very little difference, if you have enough experience and demonstrated skill.
For young people, though, exam results feel like everything, the beginning and the end. It is right to try to alleviate some of the pressure by explaining long term reality from a position of experience.
But when you're the education minister with a record in office to answer to, you're not the right one to be making that point.
This is, though, perhaps the quality the Tories value in Gillian Keegan as a cabinet minister. She is not one of their usual Oxbridge PPE types. Like Angela Raynor on the opposition benches, Ms Keegan left school at 16. She entered an apprenticeship and worked her way up. This, they think, gives her relatability and some of those skills she's mentioned. Imagine a minister with relatability and competence. Wouldn't that be a thing?
The RAAC calamity - both in England and Wales and in Scotland - is going to drag on for some time. The repairs, is goes without saying, need to be long term solutions with no more quick fixes.
But Gillian Keegan leaves the question: If this is what they're saying on-camera, what are they saying off?
To continue the theme, and paraphrase what the SNP's Chris Law was chided for saying in the Commons this week, Ms Keegan's earthy persona will take her only so far before she has to prove she and her previous incumbents are not merely two cheeks of the same.
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