Where's the beef? The journey from vegan to meat eater

Every now and then, mid-ordering a sirloin served rare or dessert smothered in molten chocolate, I find myself questioning just what on earth I’m playing at. 

I have mentioned before that last year I bid farewell to years’ worth of veganism, then vegetarianism in favour of a full-fat, flesh-eating diet. 

My questionable excuse for this 180 was work, having discovered there’s only so often you can blag your way through a review using observations from an omnivorous plus one. 

But the truth is, even before delving into the world of food and drink writing I had started to reconsider my dietary choices. 

I enjoyed tofu scramble and yet wondered if it would really be so bad to swap for a portion of buttery eggs and smoked salmon, just once on a lazy Sunday morning. 

Worse, when special occasions called for a celebratory dinner, the siren call of red meat paired with a large glass of Malbec was growing harder to ignore. 

Not long after these intrusive thoughts began, when offered a bite of locally sourced venison on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Bavaria, I caved. 

From that moment onwards, it felt like an act of rebellion to add items to my supermarket basket without first checking the ingredients or ordering from a wine list without a frantic Google to identify the vegan-friendly bottles. 

Along with this new sense of foodie freedom, however, there was guilt. 

Huge amounts of guilt as vegan ex-colleagues watched my dinnertime Instagram stories or friends seemed shocked by the radical shake-up of my go-to takeaway orders. 

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This week, I came face to face with a story that called out my own hypocrisy with a new study from the University of Stirling. 

The ‘cheese paradox’, aside from sounding like the title for a Sci-Fi epic set on a rural farm, is a term coined by researchers who have explored a cognitive disconnect in those who follow a vegetarian diet while acknowledging that consuming animal products could cause suffering. 

If they’re looking for a poster girl for the dubious moral position, I’d be a worthy candidate. 

Having grown up in a crofting community I’m fully aware that all meat was once a living, breathing animal. 

But would I really be able to hold my nerve while watching videos of battery hen cages or slaughterhouses? 

And that’s before we arrive at the worrying environmental impact of mass factory farming as the planet hurtles towards a climate crisis. 

It’s interesting that in this same week, I found myself chatting with Nick Rietz of Bilson Eleven in Glasgow. 

With plans to banish meat from the menu for a special Vegan Week in September, the chef also revealed he no longer uses factory-farmed animals on his menus due to concerns over the restaurant’s carbon footprint. 

‘I didn’t want my kids coming to me in 20 years’ time and saying, ‘I can’t believe you served beef at your restaurant’ he stressed. 

It’s an admirable stance and one that’s shared to some degree by the chefs across Scotland who are committed to putting sustainability into practice, rather than jumping on the buzzword bandwagon. 

Perhaps this approach to utilising locally sourced meat such as venison, game or seasonal seafood could provide a suitable halfway point for those who aren’t prepared to limit their options to a fully plant-based diet. 

I do still worry that a delayed crisis of conscience is in the post, addressed directly to 'Sarah Campbell, traitor to the vegan cause', but until then, it’s vital that not just myself, but others continue to question where our produce is coming from, and if we can cope with the answer.