Future imperfect
THE daughter of reader Claire Russell partied at Glasgow’s TRNSMT Festival during the weekend. After slugging a decent number of alcoholic beverages, one of her friends started to bemoan the harsh reality that she will soon be the grand old age of 24.
“Growing old’s an absolute nightmare,” she grumbled. “My looks will start to go soon, and I’ll have to rely on my personality to pull a guy.”
Street life
A DIARY scribe found himself in that most salubrious of venues, the Marks and Sparks mini market in Glasgow’s Central Station yesterday.
And who should he spy there? None other than Janet Street-Porter, fabled for her appearances on ITV’s Loose Women, where she delights her fellow presenters with honeyed tones and meekness of character.
In her downtime she’s also a lover of modern art, which perhaps explains why the convivial Diary correspondent yelled out: “Here for the Banksy exhibition, Janet?”
The delightful Ms S-P merely rolled her eyeballs and brushed past, imperiously.
In the world of journalism, this is known as a no-comment way of saying: “No comment.”
Sweet and lowdown
CONFUSED reader Sue Rushton says: “I’ve always wondered why honey doesn’t have more vitamin B.”
Moving gingerly
TOM Cruise has revealed he’s determined to continue filming the action-packed Mission Impossible movies, and doing his own stunts.
But surely, muses reader Vicky Butler, Tom, who is 61 years old, will eventually be forced to dial down the dynamic daring-doing as he limps and hobbles toward his twilight years.
Says Vicky: “I’m guessing the next blockbuster in the series will be called Mission Impossible: Push Yourself Up From The Sofa and Brew A Nice Cuppa, With a Couple of Ginger Snaps Thrown In For Good Measure.
Lordly literature
OUR inspired readers are tinkering with iconic works of fiction by adding a completely unnecessary word to book titles. Jim Gracie suggests a thrilling rewrite of William Golding’s classic novel about savage schoolboys running amok on a tropical island.
Instead, Jim would like tropics replaced by trousers in a book that would inevitably be called Lord of the Zip Flies.
The name game
MORE on books. Joe Biden has been visiting Rishi Sunak’s Downing Street gaff. Which inspires reader Rob Henderson to suggest a title if the American President ever decides to write his autobiography.
He says it should be called Biden: His Time.
Lupine laughs
A MADCAP medical malady. Reader Patrick Everett informed a nurse that he’d been bitten by a wolf.
“Where?” she asked.
“No,” replied Patrick. “Regular.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here