THERE are a number of things I worry about now that I’m a regular newspaper columnist. The important stuff. Climate change, big tech and whether my by-line picture might be an accurate reflection of how I really look.
But the thing that keeps me awake at night the most is the fear that people might now think I actually know what I’m talking about.
More than that, I worry that I might start thinking I know what I’m talking about. That does seem to be a thing some columnists do, isn’t it? Even when they don’t.
The other week I was watching Toby Young on Newsnight. He was confronted by the fact that in a newspaper column last summer he said that the coronavirus had all but disappeared. Which, as it turned out, was a smidgeon wide of the mark.
“Hands up, I got that wrong,” he admitted to Emily Maitlis, brushing it aside. No sign of embarrassment or remorse. No promises that he wasn’t going to come out with any such nonsense in future.
Young is not the only columnist who has been spectacularly wrong over Covid. Not really a surprise. It’s a new disease, the decisions we have to make are difficult and complex and don’t always lend themselves to newspaper wordcounts. And, as it turns out, few newspaper columnists are virologists or experts on disease management.
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As it stands, when it comes to a pandemic we probably have not had enough of experts in this country, to paraphrase some former newspaper columnist. What was his name again?
At which point it’s actually a little painful to recall that here in the UK we are now governed by a newspaper columnist. Boris Johnson made his name writing political columns about the EU that had, at times, a taste for misrepresentation and exaggeration.
Turns out that governing a country – particularly one undergoing a major economic upheaval and a huge health crisis isn’t quite as easy as meeting your deadline (which, by all accounts, Johnson always saw as negotiable anyway).
The result? Probably best judged by watching the PM in front of the Liaison Committee on Wednesday being questioned – or was it eviscerated? – by Labour’s Yvette Cooper over the government’s usual lackadaisical response – or should that be lack of response? – to concerns about a new Brazilian variant of the coronavirus.
There was no sign of an immediate travel ban. Instead, Johnson sat slumped repeating the mantra, “We’re taking steps,” while giving no indication that he knew what those steps were exactly or when they might be introduced.
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It took another two days before a travel ban was introduced. Sometimes, the ability to turn a pithy phrase isn’t quite enough when it comes to being in charge of the nation’s health.
Not all newspaper columnists are as sketchy on details or as ill-briefed as Boris. But he’s the one who got to run the country. Go figure.
Still, it could be worse. We could be governed by someone who used Twitter to upload his opinions, I suppose. How’s that worked out, America?
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