Robert McNeil

Columnist

Prior to The Herald, I lived a life of squalid drudgery, apart from 13 years on The Scotsman and five on The Shetland Times. I deplore life generally, seldom go out, and have a fear of cauliflower (raw and cooked). More details in my forthcoming autobiography, Hand Me Doon Ma Prozac.

Prior to The Herald, I lived a life of squalid drudgery, apart from 13 years on The Scotsman and five on The Shetland Times. I deplore life generally, seldom go out, and have a fear of cauliflower (raw and cooked). More details in my forthcoming autobiography, Hand Me Doon Ma Prozac.

Latest articles from Robert McNeil

Though Teddy Taylor had supported Enoch Powell on immigration, he regarded racist attitudes as “foul” and, during an appearance on Have I Got News For You, revealed he was a fan of reggae star Bob Marley

RAB'S SCOTTISH ICONS Scots Tory right-winger Sir Teddy loved Thatcher ... even though she once smacked him

Robert McNeil is a prize-winning journalist, with awards including a works raffle, a Lucky Dip and a teddy bear at the community centre bingo.

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Richard Wilson came to resent the character, in particular his catchphrase, which he was pressed to utter by leading intellectuals on the streets

RAB'S SCOTTISH ICONS Seriously, how did raging auld security guard Victor Meldrew afford that huge house?
Robert McNeil is The Herald’s nonsense correspondent. He denies being open to bribes with whisky. Unless it’s a single malt

Robert Knox was educated at the Royal High School, being noted as a bully who thrashed his fellow students ‘mentally and corporeally’

RAB'S SCOTTISH ICONS There was certainly a body of evidence against racist oddball surgeon Robert Knox

Robert McNeil is a freelance journalist specialising in crime, mainly housebreaking, vandalism, drunk and disorderly. None of the charges have been proven.

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Fat Bastard - just your typical Scot

RAB McNEIL Is this the most offensive fictional Scottish character ever?

Fat Bastard is the creation of Mike Myers, a Canadian who also plays him with a Scottish accent in two of his Austin Powers films about a 1960s-style British spy. For the avoidance of doubt, these are comedies. Fantastically funny ones too.

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The Boys had always been at ease on stage or screen, presenting their songs in a relaxed and generous manner, wearing their kilts with pride, and not caring about being called “kitsch” because, in their chosen genre, they were supremely talented.

RAB'S SCOTTISH ICONS Alexander Brothers had their detractors, but they brought joy to many shortbread tins

Robert McNeil is a freelance journalist specialising in generalities. His anti-fishing polemic, Taking the Pisces, is available from his garage.

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Opponents called him Daft Tam but, behind the scruffy schoolteacher demeanour, lay an analytical brain

RAB'S SCOTTISH ICONS Socialist old Etonian Tam Dalyell's peacocks pecked my kecks
Rab is a freelance failure. His erotic journalistic memoir, The Naked And The Deadline, has been shortlisted for Least Shortlisted Book of the Year.

Scotty's unique expressions ‘Have a bonny trip!’ and ‘That’ll put the haggis in the fire!’ elicited derision among native aficionados of Scots authenticity in popular culture

RAB'S SCOTTISH ICONS Star Trek's Scotty certainly explored strange new worlds with his accent and patter

He also had the satisfaction of having both Elvis Presley and Groucho Marx shout “Beam me up, Scotty!” at him.

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Lewis became the first artist to sell out an arena tour before the release of an album. The shows sold out in one second. This, in even his own view, was getting out of hand.

RAB'S SCOTTISH ICONS Self-effacing 'melting hippo' Lewis Capaldi really should believe in himself more
Robert McNeil is an investigative journalist specialising in turnip theft from allotments. His Scottish erotic memoir, Hand Me Doon Ma Prophylactics, is being made into a cartoon by Disney Studios.

Jenners was founded as “Kennington & Jenner” in 1838 by a right couple of Charlies: Charles Jenner, a linen draper, and Charles Kennington. The original structure, consisting of converted houses, was destroyed by fire in 1892

RAB'S SCOTTISH ICONS Jenners was the 'Harrods of the North' but I legged it from the trousers section
THIS week’s Icon was Scotland’s first independent department store and one of the oldest to continuously trade from the same site. According to our sister paper, The National: “To describe it as an Edinburgh icon would be to understate its importance in the capital.” Righty-oh.

Derek William Dick was born on April 25, 1958 in Edinburgh and grew up in Dalkeith. The first big obstacle in his life was his name: “At school… I used to get upset with Dirty Dick and stuff like that'

RAB'S SCOTTISH ICONS Bizarre coincidences saw Marillion singer Fish find his plaice in the Hebrides
And he’ll still be making music, despite being “f****** bored” talking about it and acknowledging that, today, there’s “more money in sheep than Spotify”.