Mark Smith

If you want me, I’ll be in Magpie’s Nest, and if you ask nicely I’ll take you across the road to the Pearce Institute for a plate of chips as big as ships before we take a wander along to the new bridge. Look at that view across to the museum; you’ve got to love it. And you’ve got to admit: there’s a bit of a transformative feeling going on in Govan right now that could be good for all of us.

Enable celebrates 70 years as a charity and it all started in a living room

Ask me what I hate. Lots of things. I hate that the Scots pay higher taxes than the English. I hate that so many people still eat animals and abuse and kill them. I hate that the health minister went to football matches and thinks we’ll believe him when he says it was work. I hate that I’m not the same weight I was when I was 17. There are lots of things I hate. How long have you got?

The Scottish Government, now largely free of the influence of the Greens we think and hope, has ditched some of its plans on wood-burning stoves. The policy has gone up in smoke. They’ve changed course. They’ve done a U-turn. Although is U-turn the right phrase I wonder?

I don’t want to imagine what it’s like to go and visit the grave of a friend or relative and discover the cooncil has slapped a gummy, gaudy information notice on it headed “Warning! this memorial has failed to meet safety standards.” People have called it disrespectful and I think that’s exactly the right word. It is. What were they thinking?

The council in Glasgow is asking residents to help clear leaves off the streets and the way people have reacted to the idea is revealing. Call it the Leaf Test: how much should councils do for residents and how much should residents do for themselves? The answer matters because it reveals how much we – as people, as communities, as society – may have changed, and not for the better.

Full disclosure: I went to private school, my parents paid the fees, the education was good and I’m sure it improved my chances and opportunities. As to whether it damaged my personality and gave me an arrogant sense of entitlement, you’d have to ask the people who know me although does anybody care about their opinions I don’t think so.

Right, let’s see what all the fuss is about. I jump in the car and drive along Paisley Road West and there it is. A big hairy man and a big hairy cow. The man, a grumpy-faced piper in a Jimmy Edwards tache, is standing in front of the cow and a perplexed stag. Behind him are the noble purple hills of the Highlands; across the road are the noble red and yellow letters of Farmfoods, Great Food, Amazing Prices.

You may have read my opinion piece the other day about the A9. The thrust of it was that the Scottish Government is committed to dualling the road for all the wrong reasons and that the changes which the upgrade might, or might not, bring about do not justify the cost. I also asked readers to email me their thoughts on my arguments, and they did. It wasn’t pretty.

Today’s the day, or at least it should have been. The UK’s first drug consumption room was due to open in Glasgow this week but it’s been pushed back, we’re told, for more checks on the building and I’m sure it’ll be fine and everything but I worry, because the idea of consumption rooms, and getting them right, is serious. It matters.