COWDENBEATH could barely have received a more comprehensive pummelling if they had accidentally wandered down the road to do battle with the burly Italians at Murrayfield.
Ten goals to register the biggest league triumph in Heart of Midlothian's 141-year history, the joint-fastest hat-trick ever for the club, another Alim Ozturk thunderbolt and three penalty-kicks, one of which was a delightfully-converted 'Panenka'.
Even by the relentlessly lofty standard set by Hearts during their magnificent and now-inevitable march to the Scottish Championship crown, this truly was an afternoon to savour for the Jambos faithful and one to go down in the Blue Brazil's hall of shame.
"We had to be patient for the first 25 minutes and then we got three goals in four minutes and it totally changed the game when them getting a man sent off," remarked Hearts head coach Robbie Neilson before expressing his sympathy for opposite number Jimmy Nicholl.
"I spoke to Stevie Crawford during the game and it's difficult. I've been in situations like that before - we played Celtic here and got beat 3-0 and were down to ten men.
"When you are down to ten men, you just think there's nothing you can do. When it's 3-0 or 4-0, do you go and try and get a goal back? Do you sit in an try and protect it? It's a difficult situation for a manager. But we have to look after ourselves here."
And boy, did they ever "look after themselves", as a mis-match of cruel proportions played out at Tynecastle Stadium, with Neilson's rampant champions-elect scoring five times in a dominant, clinical first-half.
Genero Zeefuik, a player whose pace and physicality would suggest he could handle himself on the RBS 6 Nations stage, notched a treble in the space of three minutes and 35 seconds - equalling the feat of Andy Black against Arbroath in 1938.
He scored his first from the spot after Nat Wedderburn handled a ferocious Sam Nicholson shot inside the box, sliding his kick past Robbie Thomson, who was to endure an afternoon to forget. Zeefuik then fizzed a super low shot from 25 yards into the bottom corner.
Lewis Toshney was sent of for hauling down Billy King in the box, a factor which no doubt helped to facilitate the rout which followed, and Zeefuik completed his hat-trick with aplomb.
Sam Nicholson, making his first appearance since receiving the infamous 'kung fu' kick to the face from Jason Talbot, and Jamie Walker got their names on the scoresheet prior to the break.
"Even though we were winning 5-0 and you always hope they go and do it again in the second half," continued Neilson. "A lot of the time they take their foot off the gas.
"I was able to bring on those subs which gave the whole place a lift because they are desperate to go and score goals."
Indeed, Neilson, who remarkably claimed his side actually played better in their 2-1 win over Queen of the South eight days ago, saw his side notch another five goals in the second period to ensure this Hearts side will have their name writ large in club folklore, bettering their previous best league triumph of 10-3
Another penalty kicked off the scoring in the second period, with Morgaro Gomis sumptuously dinking the ball over poor Robbie Thomson after. A trademark drive from distance from Alim Ozturk, a scrappy Danny Wilson strike and an Osman Sow double rounded off the scoring.
You could forgive Blue Brazil boss Jimmy Nicholl for growing increasingly sick of the sight of Edinburgh this season. He has endured risible trips to Auld Reekie this term, shipping 23 goals in four encounters against Hearts and Hibernian.
He cut a truly forlorn figure on the sidelines when the full-time whistle blew, helpless and drenched by a miserable Edinburgh downpour.
"I've had it before when I was across the road at Hibs and we played Malmo and lost 7-0," he recalled. "We were 4-0 down under wee Pat Fenlon and it was horrific.
"All you are asking for is to turn it around to 4-1 or 4-2 but we ended up being beaten by seven. As a player at Sunderland we lost 8-0 at Watford, the same thing, 4-0 down at half-time.
"But then it's how you react. It's how I react and how the players react next week against Rangers."
Man of the match: Sam Nicholson: A direct, skilful showing capped by a wonderful drive from distance.
HEARTS (4-2-3-1): Alexander; Paterson, Wilson, Ozturk, Eckersley; Gomis, Pallardo; Nicholson, Walker (El Hassnaoui 59), King (Sow 59); Zeefuik (Keatings 59). Subs not used: Gallacher, Anderson, McKay, McGhee.
COWDENBEATH (5-3-1-1): Thomson; Brett, Wedderburn, Toshney, O'Brien, Adamson; Hughes, Kane (Armstrong 45), Robertson; Herron (Milne 71); Nish. Subs not used: Sneddon, Higgins, Brownlie, Oyenuga, Miller.
Ref: B Madden
Att: 15,180
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