THE most difficult thing to do in football is score a goal.
My dad would often say this when I was a budding, and not very good, footballer who would rather pass the ball sideways than have a (wayward) shot from, oh let’s say, five yards. Gerd Muller I was not.
Someone else who once earned this nugget from the old man was Kris Boyd. This happened in the wee small hours following the Scottish Football Writers Association annual dinner; my dad telling the-then Rangers player to ignore his critics because ‘you score goals, son and that’s the most…”
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If my hazy memory serves me as well as the wine waiter did that night, big Boydy was rather chuffed with the pep talk. Not that he needed to be told anything about the art of scoring goals.
And with his 35th birthday only weeks away, he is still at it. A 22 minute hat-trick against Dumbarton at the weekend took Scottish football’s most prolific striker to 290 club goals. When you add in his seven for Scotland he is only three away from the 300 mark.
It’s a remarkable record from a largely unappreciated footballer.
I have always like Boyd as a bloke and a footballer. I covered the Scotland under-21 team when they were coached by Rainer Bonhof and the young Boyd was one who was always happy to chat, when the tapes were on and off, and while he could act the big dafty laddie, which he was at times, it was clear that he had a lot more going on upstairs than most.
He’s admitted himself that he lacked maturity when at Kilmarnock but he still scored goals, 67 in four-and-a-half seasons, which earned him a move to Rangers where he played a huge part in that club winning trophies.
Okay, he was never going to run about chasing defenders, but then there were other players who could do that. He was the best by far at scoring headers, tap-ins, free-kicks, penalties and just about any other way a goalkeeper can be beaten with either foot.
I remember one game at Tynecastle when he was thrown on with a few minutes to go with the game 1-1. His first touch was a flick to Steven Naismith who won a last minute penalty which Boyd, of course, scored.
Rangers won the league that season on the final day.
Kris Boyd is a brilliant footballer. He should still be the Scotland squad. I know who I would want to see getting ready to come off the bench with ten minutes to go with the score at 1-1. All he would need is for the ball to bounce his way inside the box and the target would be found.
The former Scotland manager George Burley didn’t know how to handle him – the pair had a falling out - but then he didn’t know how to do much.
As a person, Boyd is a far from one dimensional character. His work with the mental health charity he set-up, a response to his younger brother’s suicide, has been to his huge credit, as has been his speaking out about male suicide which has become an epidemic in this country.
He has also become a fine pundit in print and on television.
I have been told that his professionalism and preparation took his bosses at Sky by surprise. He doesn’t just turn up, say a few banal and obvious statements, he actually does research.
He doesn’t care if someone gets offended and why should he when all he does is speak from the heart. Unlike some of his peers who seem scared to offer even a morsel of criticism.
At the Scottish Cup semi-final last season, Celtic beat Rangers 4-0 going on ten, and it was Boyd who picked up on the difference in warm-ups. That Celtic were being drilled in a professional manger while the Rangers players kick the ball about for a bit.
This is being written before Kilmarnock’s game at Spartans on Tuesday night so Boyd just might have his 300th goal. If not, it would be fitting if he reached the landmark at Rugby Park on Saturday against Queen’s Park.
I have never seen him beat a man in a dribble, attempt a back-heel or even burst into what most would call speed.
However, there is nobody in our game better at making football’s most difficult task look so easy.
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