IT read like a quick-start guide for a prison-rules fight to the death.
Thumbing through my Ultimate Fighting Championship programme ahead of Fight Night 72 at the SSE Hydro, the first event of its kind ever held in Scotland, it was hard not to be taken aback – and slightly alarmed – at the ‘What not to do’ rule book listed for anyone perhaps unfamiliar with the ins and outs of this mixed martial arts extravaganza.
Some of the offences seemed fairly straightforward. Don’t ‘flagrantly’ disregard the instructions of the referee, don’t throw in the towel during the competition, don’t attack an opponent during the break and don’t tug at anyone’s shorts. Pretty standard fare that could easily be applied to any Junior fitba’ game being played up and down Ayrshire.
Yet some of the 31 pointers were a little bit more, erm, unusual. No eye gouging, biting, fish hooking, putting your finger into an orifice or a laceration, grabbing the clavicle, kicking to the kidney with the heel and spiking an opponent to the canvas on his head or neck was allowed. 'There's always someone who spoils it for everyone else,' I muttered.
For all the brutality involved on Saturday night – yes, don't worry there was still plenty - it was an evening that will be remembered for love not war as a whole nation demonstrated a willingness to embrace the UFC warmly into the fold.
For over two decades the competition, ironically co-founded by Scot Campbell McLaren, has taken over the United States and toured the globe to wow audiences including in England and the Republic of Ireland.
Logistically bringing the event to Scotland was always difficult due to a lack of a suitable indoor arena that could best showcase fights to both a large crowd inside but to a global audience of over one billion. Organisers now appears to have found a Scottish home with suitable comforts.
In the SSE Hydro UFC bosses have a venue that shone as brightly on Saturday as the three Scots who fought their way to victory inside it. Crammed with over 10,000 fans, the new auditorium on the banks of the River Clyde bounced, sang and screamed from the first fight to the last as England’s Michael Bisping triumphed on a split decision over Brazilian Thales Leites. It was hardly a surprise that just an hour after the event a UFC spokesman admitted that plans were already underway to come back to Glasgow within the next two years.
“I’d just like to thank the fans and all of their support. They made the UFC come here. If it wasn’t for them the three of us would still be fighting but it’s because the UFC listened to the fans, answered our prayers and brought this night here to Glasgow,” said Joanne Calderwood, Scotland’s strawweight fighter who defeated Cortney Casey-Sanchez over three rounds.
“I can’t explain the feeling of walking out there. I just felt ‘this is where I want to be’ and I’ll never forget that.”
It was a feeling shared by compatriot Robert Whiteford, who helped kick off the Scottish party early on in the third fight of the undercard. Emerging draped in a Saltire, the 33-year-old from Armadale revelled in the atmosphere by not only winning but throwing himself into the crowd. Initially it appeared an act of great showmanship, but the featherweight fighter later revealed the sense of occasion simply took hold of him.
“It was a fantastic night and the Scottish support were there. To come out to the national anthem and knock the guy out in the first round, well you can’t get any better than that,” said Whiteford. “It was very emotional and I was struggling to keep it together.
“It’s priceless. Monday morning I’ll probably still not be in my local paper, it’s just me luck.”
Hopefully appearing in this one will make up for it, Robert.
As well as Whiteford and Calderwood, one of the main heroes of the night was Fifer Stevie Ray. The Kirkcaldy man hammered rival Leonardo Mafra to kick off the main card and did so in style, claiming a technical knockout with just two minutes 30 seconds on the clock thanks to a flurry of punches after an initial kick had his Brazilian wobbling like a Sauchiehall Street drunk.
It all could have been so different, however. “I had a day booked training on a motorcycle, but I didn’t expect to come flying off it at 40mph,” explained the 25-year-old, known as Braveheart to his fans. “It was raining and I remember coming down the road before harshly breaking and coming off the bike. I had thoughts running through my mind that ‘I’m going to die’. I was trying to stay off the other side of the road, it was like slow motion.
“When I got up and saw I was okay I just felt gutted because I realised that it could have been me out of the fight.”
Haste ye back, UFC. Just not on a motorbike.
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