Gutted. A strange kind of emptiness filled me as the adrenaline seeped away. It was over. We lost. Discovering how the good people of Clackmannan voted in the early hours of Friday 19th September sealed the deal.
That was then. This is now. Tears dried, confidence restored.
The legacy of the lost referendum is vast. Scotland changed. Forever. We didn’t know it two years ago but a few days later we did. The ideological fusion of the Indyref which aligned those fighting for independence with those campaigning for social justice was here to stay.
Read more: Kevin McKenna: Two years on, the case for independence has only grown
Tens of thousands joined the SNP (and other parties too) anxious to hold on to the achievement. Half of Scotland voted for the SNP eight months later saying loud and clear that this wasn’t over.
Eventually the question would be put again. We know this. But to put it this decade something big would have to change to call into question the premise of the 2014 vote.
Did that happen on 23rd June? Maybe. The land is steeped in an opaque political chaos post Brexit. It will be months – at least – till the sediment settles.
But things will come down to a series of binary political choices. Does the British government have the political will and intent to respect the decision of the Scottish electorate and establish special arrangements for the country as part of the UK Brexit plan – or not? If they don’t will the people of Scotland be sufficiently aggrieved to demand a 2014 revote – or not?
We need to make two things clear from the outset. First, this isn’t about how anyone voted on Brexit. The question is not whether to remain or leave but who decides the relationship between Scotland and the EU. Should that be the people of Scotland; or the people of another country?
Read more: Agenda: Should an independent Scotland and Ireland consider a union?
Secondly this is not a matter of asking the same question again. The world has changed. The UK a majority voted for in 2014 will not be there by the end of the decade. The choices are different.
Indyref2 won’t be a second go at the same thing.
We can no longer divide the country into whether they voted yes or no two years ago. We need to press reset. This is a new situation.
But we make our own history so this is not a time for waiting for things to happen to us. We need to take the initiative. In charting our way through the constitutional quagmire ahead it is vital that we reach out to our fellow citizens and involve them in considering the options.
We need to self-educate. I’ll wear my own Yes badge but I’m not pinning one on someone else just yet. Scotland needs to have a dialogue with itself. We need to let people speak and we need to listen.
Read more: Salmond predicts another independence referendum in two years
The SNP’s national survey is a party project and parties should be able to do their own thing. It doesn’t mean we won’t be working with others. Far from it. What the survey tells us will be vital info for the whole movement. And the most important thing it will tell us is not how many will vote yes, but how many have changed their mind and why.
Our future is in the hands of those who will change their mind. If no one does, we’re stuck here – an increasingly irrelevant part of an increasingly isolationist state covered in Tory permafrost.
So let’s engage people. Let’s wrap our opponents with kindness. Minds that aren’t thinking won’t change. And that’s where the Yes movement comes in.
When options are clearer we will need a new alliance for independence.
For now the networks and contacts we had 24 months ago are as good a place as any to start. It’s time to get the band back together. The work being done by activists organising demos and discussions right now is vital. Public meetings, street stalls and knocking on doors are important in reaching real people.
But we need to strike the right note. Some people have already made clear their scepticism has been broken. They are on side now. But others are still thinking and we need to give them the space to do so.
The more people who are engaged over the year ahead in examining the options before us the better. And if we conclude there is but one practical and obvious constitutional way forward – self-government - then the strength of that proposition will in large part depend on the range of people involved in reaching that conclusion.
So let’s be of good cheer on this the second anniversary of our noble defeat. We have much work to do. We need to draw up a new prospectus for our independence, dealing with Brexit and borders, currency and central bank. But revising the details will only be worthwhile if the appetite and the desire are there.
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