Scotland’s Home of the Year
BBC1 Scotland/iPlayer
A few things have changed since the last series of Scotland’s Home of the Year.
The White House went orange (again) while Downing Street opted for magnolia with flashes of Tory blue. In Scotland, the neighbourhood saw red over an extension to the definition of womanhood, but like that white couch we bought in the Habitat sale, we don’t want to talk about that.
In short, thank God SHOTY is back and for half an hour each week, all is not too bad with the world.
As ever, spoilers ahead.
First stop for the seventh series was a colourful seaside conversion in Saltcoats, home to Tracey, Scott, and their three children.
“Most of the planning and design was by Tracey,” said proud husband Scott. “I was just sent to the shop to pick up the paint.” Someday, a statue will be erected to the Scotts of the decorating world, for they also serve who only stand and wait at B&Q’s paint mixing station.
Judges Banjo Beale and Anna Campbell Jones liked Tracey’s confident style, with the latter saluting her “joie de vivre”.
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Next was a Victorian villa in Helensburgh that was home to Shereen, William, and their family. With seven bedrooms and too many other spaces to keep track of, the house was mahoosive.
The judges were floored by the space and the classical architecture as soon as they walked in the door. “I do like a colonnade in one’s entranceway,” said Anna, feeling the hand of Carry On history on her shoulders.
Anna, as is now customary, was wearing new spectacles to mark the new series. It is always a tense moment before we find out which side of the Su Pollard line she has landed on this time, but I am delighted to say 2025’s Gregorys are winners.
Still in Helensburgh, the judges arrived at the main bedroom. You could fit a billiard table in here said Banjo, adding that this was” every straight bloke’s dream.” Architect and third judge Danny Campbell, usually the serious Saffy to Banjo and Anna’s Edina and Patsy, creased himself, which was nice to see.
With both properties scoring highly, it was on to a sandstone bungalow in Giffnock where Pamela, Gordon, son Caleb and Rosa the Irish Setter lived. Another mahoosive property, and that was before Danny saw the extension. “Danny Campbell, extension detector,” said Banjo, in what has to be the world’s worst idea for a video game.
The place was a marvellous blend of old and new, with original features preserved where desirable, as in the main bedroom with its floor-to-ceiling wardrobes. Banjo confirmed their authenticity.
“I know closets. I spent quite a few years in one. They are original.”
Time to put scores on the doors. Two in the line-up did well, but all three judges had given the Giffnock bungalow full marks. It is a tough standard to match, but if anyone can SHOTY contestants can. Plantation shutters by parquet floors, they are making Scotland’s homes great again.
