"THE editor will see you now," the editor's secretary announced.
I walked into the office. "Sit down, Russell," the boss said, indicating a rather shabby armchair.
He cleared his throat nervously. The office clock ticked loudly in the background. He poured himself some water. "The thing is ..." he said. His voice trailed away.
I seized the moment. "Am I here because you want to talk about my dress code?"
He brightened. "Actually, yes, I do. The question is, do you think a skirt is really appropriate for a man in your position?"
Dammit. It was a good question. The weather has been unseasonably warm, the office unbearably stuffy. A suit jacket and trousers, and shirt, were too – well, overdressed. Shorts were clearly not the answer. Then I read about those Stockholm commuter-train drivers who had taken to wearing skirts to circumvent a ban on wearing shorts in a heatwave.
I pointed this out to the editor, as gently as I could.
He looked uncomfortable, and it wasn't just because the office air-conditioning had broken down again.
"The thing is ..." he said, again. He paused. "Look, I know there's nothing in our regulations about men wearing skirts, but that's just because no-one ever thought that would actually happen."
I had come prepared. I reached over and laid a newspaper cutting on his desk. It was about the Stockholm train drivers.
I'd highlighted a quote from their employers' spokesman. The editor read it out loud: "Our policy is that you have to look well-dressed and proper, and that means trousers if you're a man and a skirt if you're a woman."
He nodded, as if in triumph.
"There's more," I said.
He looked back at the cutting. Slowly, he read aloud, "But if there's a man who is keen to wear women's clothing, such as a skirt, we have said that's OK." He sat back, crestfallen.
"Look," I said, suddenly conciliatory. "If you have a better idea about what men can wear in the office in a hot summer, I'll go along with it."
He glanced up, sensing a way out of this impasse.
"What do you wear in this weather?" I asked.
Smiling, he stood up, and I caught sight, for the first time, of his shocking-pink, eye-wateringly-tight Speedos.
It was at that moment that I woke up, drenched in sweat.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article