Fringe Q&As: Kelly Kingham

‘Inside Out’ is the story of my late entry into the wonderful world of stand-up and the challenges I’ve faced in reaching the dizzy heights I now enjoy. It has been ‘in development’ for about a year (though my accountant advises the many previous years of heartache and hurt should also be considered ‘development’ if only for tax purposes). Mine is a feverish tale of facing fears, embracing change and trying to kill a dog called Colin. If I had to describe my show in five words I’d say: Frenetic, Risky, Compelling, Explosive, Hyperbolic.

Best thing about the Fringe?

Flyering on the Royal Mile in the rain for 12-hours a day; some people don’t enjoy this because they’re crippled with self-respect; I love it! Especially since my friends in London have been helping me develop the emotional resilience required to face the constant rejection and distain. Whenever I bump into one of them they immediately start barking ‘Which way Waverly Station!!’ in a weird Spanish / Japanese accent and then beat me with a broken umbrella. To further prepare for the Scottish summer I’ve started taking cold showers with all my clothes on, stirring Lem-Sip into my tea and queuing at my local mosque in the hope they might be serving curry & rice.

Worst thing about the Fringe?

Losing my venue in the recent free-fringe promoters civil war. My initial brochure listing and adverts encourage people towards a venue I won’t actually be appearing at. My only hope is that comedy-discerning folk, in full and desperate flight from my old venue, will stumble into my new venue by accident. I call this approach ‘counter-intuitive marketing’ - (or a right royal balls-up).    

How many years have you been coming to the Fringe?

This is my fourth year as a stand-up but my love affair with the Edinburgh Festival actually began in 2010 when ‘JUMP’ the musical comedy I wrote was performed at the Pleasance Dome.

This came about when at forty-five and working in a lorry-yard, I suddenly realised that if I don’t have an adventure soon I never will. My wife said she would support my mid-life wobble as long as there were no motor cycles or fancy women involved. Crossing the first two things off my list I started trawling the ‘How-To’ book section on Amazon for inspiration.

‘How To Run A Restaurant’ seemed a possibility until my wife said; ‘But you’ve never even been to a restaurant’. I then considered ‘How To Run A Hotel’; she said; ‘But you’ve never ever been to a hotel’. Then I found ‘How To Write A Musical’ and before she could speak, I said ‘I have seen ‘Oliver!’ on the telly loads of times; how hard can it be’. Reading the book I quickly realised it could be quite hard.

For instance, I learned that most of the best musicals have music in them and whilst I do like to sing in the bath (the lock’s broken) I realised I needed help. I called my best friend Toby and asked if he wanted to go on an incredible adventure! ‘Does it involve motor cycles and fancy women?’ he asked. ‘No’, said I ‘I’m going to write a fantastic hit musical and you my friend, are to be my co-composer!’ Toby dutifully began piano lessons and I began writing the words.

To cut a long story short, our show was performed at our local pub and seen by Anthony Alderson who offered us a slot at the Pleasance where it received great reviews. I was bitten by the show-biz bug and ‘Inside Out’ is simply the next step in this creative adventure.

Favourite Fringe venue?

I love so many but the Caves saved my bacon by re-housing my refugee show this year so I love them the most.

Best Fringe memory?

My wife and I arrived in Edinburgh one wet evening a few years ago to find the flat we had rented was no longer available due to the tenant having been re-located to prison and never having had the right to let the property in the first place. Whilst encouraging my weeping wife to understand that a month living in an old VW Golf would be part of the ‘adventure’ a neighbour of our convicted landlord came out to investigate. Upon hearing our tale of woe he called a friend who offered to put us up in her spare room for the duration of the festival. So within a couple of hours we had experienced both the worst and very best of Edinburgh – it is the latter than stays with us. 

Best heckle?

Once, a family of kagoul-wearing weirdos bundled in half-way through a show and plonked themselves noisily down. I broke off from my riveting performance to explain they’d missed most of the show only to be told, ‘D’nae worry; we’ve only come in to dodge the rain’. They then proceeded to chomp and slurp their way through an assortment of Gregg’s sandwiches and a large thermos of tea before trooping out again as soon as the rain stopped. As I recall, their lunch was better received than my jokes.

On another occasion, an elderly man grabbed me as I came off stage and said, ‘I’m not generally taken with you homo-sexualists but you’re like a young Larry Grayson’. I think it was supposed to be a compliment but I still found it a little unsettling - as did my wife.    

Craziest on stage experience?

I was on-stage in the comedy tent at a music festival once when the headliners, the Human League, suddenly started playing ‘Don’t You Want Me, Baby?’ out on the main-stage. That question was answered pretty unequivocally as my turncoat audience charged en-masse for the exit. The bastards. 

What’s on your rider?

I always request that rancid water be trickling down the inside walls of the venues I play – so far only Edinburgh fringe venues have delivered with any sort of consistency. 

How do you wind down after a show?

Through a heartfelt practice of prayer and mediation; and tranquilizers; I take a lot of tranquilizers.

What do you love about Scotland?

Last year, I particularly enjoyed the enthusiastic roar of ‘Freeeedom!’ I received almost constantly in the street. I’ve decided against wearing my ‘Better Together’ t-shirt this year.    

What do you like about Edinburgh?

Edinburgh is without doubt one of the most beautiful cities in the world. My wife and I dream of living here; me because of the proud and decent people, the wonderful architecture and the fascinating history; my wife because she quite fancies Ken Stott.

What’s the most Scottish thing you’ve done?

Last year, to show solidarity with my kilt-wearing cousins, I stopped wearing underpants for two-weeks. Can I take this opportunity to also refute slanderous allegations that this was only because I couldn’t get the washing machine to work until my wife came up from London.

What kind of jokes do a Scottish crowd seem to respond to?

Generally, they seem less easily offended; it’s almost as if they realise the comedian might be joking – weird! The wonderful Frankie Boyle has clearly trained them well. Fortunately, I tend to go well in Scotland because I am extremely hilarious; always have been. Even at school everybody used to laugh at me (until the fire). 

Kelly Kingham will perform at Just the Tonic @ The Caves from August 6-10, 12-17, 19-24 and 26-30.