Al Murray is on typically outspoken form touring the UK in his Pintbus.

Since the Pub Landlord announced his intention to stand in May's General Election, contesting the Kent seat of South Thanet for his FUKP party (or Free United Kingdom Party) against Nigel Farage, the media circus surrounding his "common sense" campaign has naturally followed close behind.

Moreover, his prospective constituents in Thanet have responded enthusiastically to the Landlord's 1p-a-pint manifesto pledge. "That, and bricking up the Channel Tunnel," he maintains. "We are also going to re-open the old fighter station at [RAF] Manston. The Russians, see, they're up to something..."

Reaching for a less confrontational soundbite, he blurts: "'Thanet is a wonderful place, full of potential, the people are top notch, it will be the cradle of the Common Sense revolution'. That's what we're saying, yeah. You have to stay on message these days. Say the wrong thing and you're done for."

Undeniably, he's feeling the hand of history upon his shoulder.

"Churchill showed that even in the greatest adversity, even struggling against incredible odds, we can achieve the seemingly impossible," he declares. "I'm talking about him being half-American, of course. He also proved that governing the UK is probably a whole lot easier when you're p***ed."

Bookmakers are currently offering shorter odds on the blazered blowhard taking South Thanet than the Liberal Democrats. And in a spurious recent poll asking who would make the best Prime Minister, Murray came second with 26.3%, only just behind David Cameron. Farage trailed in fourth. Yet even the UKIP leader has welcomed Murray's entry into the contest, stating "the more the merrier", while mischievously reiterating the claim that Murray is actually Cameron's sixth cousin, related through Vanity Fair author William Thackeray.

Learning fast, the Landlord's spin doctors prevent him addressing my questions about his illustrious ancestry. Instead, he issues a challenge to Farage (pronounced to rhyme with "garage"), about who's parking whose tanks on whose lawn.

"Basically, the man would like everyone to imagine he's one of the greatest wielders of a pint the world has ever known," Murray sniffs. "I, however, beg to differ. And there's only one way to find out. Me and Nige, pint to pint, mano a mano, as they say in Greece."

This relative caution is understandable. As Jack Straw and Malcolm Rifkind have lately discovered to their cost, projecting the image of a committed public servant at odds with a more nuanced, private character lurking beneath is replete with danger in politics. Especially if cameras are rolling or microphones recording.

"Thing is, these days there's CCTV and mobile phones absolutely everywhere, so who knows what there is film of me doing?" Murray agrees. "One minute you're minding your own business at a perfectly respectable orgy or crack den, and the next minute, it's plastered all over the tabloids..."

If elected, the Landlord won't be calling time on pulling pints, describing the debate as to whether MPs should have two jobs as "a classic dilemma... We want MPs to concentrate on being MPs and we want them to be in touch with the outside world. And as I see it, the money is out there. So in order to stay in touch with the outside world and, erm... the money, I will hang onto both jobs."

Following his many, varied television appearances - chatshow host, gameshow presenter, sitcom star and performing his stand-up of course - it comes as little surprise to learn that Al Murray has had no media training: "Looks to me like a waste of money." But hoping to barge into the televised leaders debates, as he returns to Scotland with his latest show One Man, One Guvnor, he says he's "learned studying the local talent, the master himself, Mr Salmond".

The former SNP leader, whom Murray has earmarked to be First Minister for Norwich in his manifesto, "so he can get to understand what being ignored by the rest of the country is really like", demonstrated that you have to "get punchy, pointy, and into a general, low-level broiling huff, and all will fall before you. The man's a genius. We shall not see his like again."

When pressed for his view on the once-in-a-generation Scottish Independence debate, Murray admits ignorance that "a generation was something like a fortnight... You live and learn eh? Also, I didn't realise Gordon Brown was still alive."

Roundly dismissive of the SNP's economic proposals, venturing that they amount to little more than a scheme to plant "money trees", he's bullishly defensive of his own plan for tackling the deficit.

"Totally different" he argues. "Mine's more a money shrub by comparison. This is a solid policy, not a vague assertion - £1 will be worth £1.10. And every other Tuesday, 5p pieces will be worth £2. I've not run it past the IMF but I can't see the problem."

At the same time, he has hatched a radical solution for dealing with the hot-button issue of Trident. "Some people don't want a nuclear weapon going off in Glasgow, I get it," he acknowledges. "I would pledge to get these weapons out of Scotland, and get the UK out of the EU. Probably take about quarter of an hour. I've not read the technical specs. Two subs, one stone."

A further key policy pledge, in response to the widespread fear that the Great British pub is languishing, succumbing to teetotalitarianism, is Murray's desire to nationalise our boozers. He stresses "we keep being told the railways should be re-nationalised, mainly by people who can't remember what British Rail was like, the laughing rolling stock of the world. Not even Jim Murphy at his most wild-eyed could want that.

"But I'd nationalise pubs because the pub is like the buttons on the flies of the nation's fabric. Without them we will come undone. They're under threat and successive governments have done nothing to help. Nothing! It's time for action. So we make publicans civil servants, recognise the essential service they provide. And once they're nationalised, the pubs can run late and no-one will be allowed to complain."

He's decidedly more ambivalent about the UK's craft beer revolution and how the explosion in microbreweries seems to be driven by hipsters.

"If you like beer with beard trimmings in, fine," he suggests. "These lads want to be retro, live the retro life, have the retro stuff. But until one of them goes the whole hog and contracts smallpox or TB then I can't take them seriously. The chilling thing to remember about hipsters is there's potentially billions of them out there. Every unshaven man is a possible hipster hatching some plan to make Quinoa Pale Ale, for pity's sake. Be afraid. Be very afraid."

With his Pintbus emblazoned with the slogan "Vote Guv For Guv'norment", it transpires that Murray is also a supporter of Labour's efforts to woo female voters with its much-derided pink campaign vehicle.

"There was a lot of fuss about this issue but I reckon you have to admire the pink bus. Labour have clearly put a lot of thought into it" he argues. "Women love pink and they love public transport. Everyone knows that, therefore a pink bus is the surest way to remind everyone that Labour wants a future in which every woman is a lovely pink princess. The Pintbus is just for fellas though, rules is rules."

Despite having more-or-less secured the female vote of Thanet with that logic, he elaborates further on his message to women: "Tell them I like their hair, say 'you look great, have you lost weight?', ask them what sort of things they like and pretend to like the same things too. That and VAT off tampons. VAT off tampons will win you the loyalty of the female vote forever. Job done."

Meanwhile, after pledging that the UK will leave Europe by 2025 and the edge of the solar system by 2050, he has little sympathy for sartorially casual Greek finance minister Yanis Varoufakis as he lobbies the continent's economic brokers to write off his nation's debt.

"What a plank," he growls. "Everyone knows that if you want to borrow money or if you're just basically in trouble of any kind, you wear a tie. The Greeks are doing that thing of saying: 'Who? Me?' Acting all goofy to the bailiffs might seem like it'll work but doesn't, I'm afraid. Still, you've got to give him credit for trying. Well, perhaps not."

With no single party seeming likely to gain an overall majority in the election, a ruling coalition once again appears inevitable. That being the case, Queen-loving Murray's advocacy of "common sense" politics suggest the rock group's guitarist Brian May and his Common Decency project - which idealistically suggests MPs vote "according to their conscience" - as potential allies.

"Yes, me and Brian could do business," he affirms. "To be honest, none of the other bastards appeal. I also think that Brian would be a brilliant coalition partner. He's been in a band so knows how best to work with a dazzling front man."

Countering the egotistical Russell Brand's claim that voting is pointless by succinctly snorting that "he's completely f***ing wrong", Murray nevertheless has a similar, revolutionary plan to tear up the parliamentary constitution.

"Honestly? I think we should have one last election in May, and then switch to a one man, one vote system. With me being the one man with that one vote." First things first with power, though: "a huge lunch on expenses!"

Al Murray: The Pub Landlord plays Aberdeen Music Hall (March 19), Dunfermline Alhambra (March 21) and the King's Theatre, Glasgow (March 22), www.thepublandlord.com

For full programme details of the Glasgow International Comedy Festival, go to www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com