MORE than 50 years ago, John Cleese brought the now-famed Ministry of Silly Walks to TV screens for the first time in Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

It saw Cleese play a civil servant in the ministry which granted citizens money to help them develop their own silly walks.

For what purpose was never revealed but Cleese’s remarkable suppleness as he contorted himself walking across London was comedy gold.

Now it appears that Monty Python is alive and well and working in Scotland’s NHS, judging by a bonkers idea issued this week to help prevent folk slipping in the icy conditions.

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According to the advice, issued by health professionals at NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde no less, people should walk like a penguin to avoid falling on icy pavements. Dr Emilia Crighton, director for public health at NHSGGC, said: “While it might seem silly to walk or waddle like a penguin, the alternative may be a nasty injury.

“Remember, when it comes to getting around on ice, penguins know best, so when you’re out and about in the next few days, adopting the penguin stance is a really effective way to move without falling.”

It then issues advice on how exactly to walk like a penguin – which is bend slightly at the knees, point your feet out a little, extend your arms at your sides and lean forward slightly, walk flat-footed, taking short steps.

Now, I’m sure that whoever thought of this had very sound reasons for doing so – maybe they’d been to Edinburgh Zoo in the snow and saw that penguins are quite nifty at walking across it.

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But there is a fatal flaw in the whole plan – walking like a penguin doesn’t actually make you a penguin.

Penguins, of course, live in Antarctica where it is consistently even colder than it is in even Dalwhinnie and they are very adept at getting across the ice, a skill that has evolved over millennia.

They also have very large, flat feet which a human cannot ever hope to replicate even by wearing a pair of flippers – which would probably raise the slip danger.

Crucially, penguins also have claws which help them grip in the ice as well as help them catch fish.

There is also the practicality of it all.

The only way that a human can ever hope to walk even remotely like a penguin is by having your trousers round your ankles – which will probably get you arrested if you did it in a city centre.

Slipping on ice is a very real and present danger when the temperatures drop as low as they have been this week.

This is particularly true for the elderly who are sometimes unsteady on their feet, even at the height of summer when pavements are clear.

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No amount of animal mimicry amongst the population is going to make walking on icy pavements any easier.

I’m sure elephants are quite adept at walking on ice, too, given the size of their feet, so why stop at penguins?

The only surefire way to prevent folk slipping on pavements is by gritting them regularly during a cold snap, like they do with the roads.

Despite current financial woes, gritting pavements should be a statutory duty for councils to carry out and the government should fund it appropriately. As for the NHS advice, the best thing to do with it is p-p-p-p-pick it up and throw it in the bin.